I am back together with all my girls! The littles and I headed up to my parents' house on Thursday and Friday. Let me just say that I am so glad that my brother and his family live almost exactly halfway between my house and my parents. I could have made the 10-14 hour trip (if you have little ones you understand why the trip time could be either 10 or 14 hours) by myself, but I'm really glad I didn't have to. We stayed the night Thursday night at my brother's. When we got up Friday morning and ate breakfast I was washing our dishes and Baby Girl #3 asked if I had to wash the dishes. I explained to her that when you visit someone's home it is always nice to leave the house as nice or nicer than when you got there. That way if you ever want to visit again they will look forward to you coming instead of dreading it. Then I told my brother about the conversation and informed him that I intend to be visiting a lot, whenever we travel back and forth to see the grandparents! Luckily we all get along and our visits are always fun!
I miss Hubby a lot, but it is nice to be back with my parents and be getting ready to enjoy the week with my family. Hubby told me a little while ago that one of our elders told him today that he should come up here this week so that he could be with us for Christmas even though technically he doesn't have the vacation time to be able to do that. Unfortunately, Hubby has a funeral to do in Houston this week so he couldn't come up anyway, but it means so much to us that our elders offered to let him take the extra time. It's nice that they feel that way even though we've only be there for about 4 months. This move has been tough on us, but things like that make it easier to feel like we're really a part of the congregation.
So now I have all the presents wrapped, goodies made and bag unpacked. All that is left is to unwrap all the gifts and enjoy spending time with family. I'm looking forward to not having to do anything that I don't actually want to! I hope all of you have a wonderful week filled with love and laughter. To any of you who are having a difficult time due to a loss or dealing with any depression, I may not know exactly who you are or what you are dealing with, but I will be praying for you.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
Perspective
We've been having some problems with our Suburban lately. Hubby has tried a couple of different tricks to try and fix it himself. We thought we had it taken care of, but yesterday a light popped on again and we realized that we were going to have to take it in and have it repaired.
Praise God we have the money to get it fixed! The down side is that that leaves us with zero dollars in savings. Which isn't all that different than it has been for the last several years. Any time we finally are able to put money into savings something big comes up that we end up having to pay for. We are thankful that we've been able to pay cash for so many things that have come up the last few years. But we also struggle with the frustration of not having money put aside.
But with the shooting today in Connecticut, everything seems to have come into sharper focus. Today I have my two youngest with me safe and sound. My 5 year old was not at a school today that had a mad man come in and kill innocent babies. I know that my older two are also safe. Hubby and I are healthy and our children are healthy.
So what if we have to pay for the water pump to be fixed? So what if we have to be careful with our finances because we have no savings? I'm not sitting at home tonight, staring at presents that my child will never open. I will not have to navigate the next hours and days and months and years with a void in my heart that my child once filled. I do not have an adult family member who will be missing at the family dinner this year. So tonight I praise God that my children and my spouse are safe and whole. I pray for those who did lose their children and their loved ones. I cry for the pain they must be feeling.
But through it all, I feel an overwhelming thankfulness that even in times when we can't understand why something happens, we have the knowledge that one day God himself will wipe away our tears.
Praise God we have the money to get it fixed! The down side is that that leaves us with zero dollars in savings. Which isn't all that different than it has been for the last several years. Any time we finally are able to put money into savings something big comes up that we end up having to pay for. We are thankful that we've been able to pay cash for so many things that have come up the last few years. But we also struggle with the frustration of not having money put aside.
But with the shooting today in Connecticut, everything seems to have come into sharper focus. Today I have my two youngest with me safe and sound. My 5 year old was not at a school today that had a mad man come in and kill innocent babies. I know that my older two are also safe. Hubby and I are healthy and our children are healthy.
So what if we have to pay for the water pump to be fixed? So what if we have to be careful with our finances because we have no savings? I'm not sitting at home tonight, staring at presents that my child will never open. I will not have to navigate the next hours and days and months and years with a void in my heart that my child once filled. I do not have an adult family member who will be missing at the family dinner this year. So tonight I praise God that my children and my spouse are safe and whole. I pray for those who did lose their children and their loved ones. I cry for the pain they must be feeling.
But through it all, I feel an overwhelming thankfulness that even in times when we can't understand why something happens, we have the knowledge that one day God himself will wipe away our tears.
Monday, December 10, 2012
The Littles
We are still down to just two girls, but now we have the littlest two. I was totally prepared for the next two weeks to be more difficult with the little ones instead of the big ones. But so far it hasn't been too bad. Yes, one of the girls is completely dependent on us for everything still. Except for getting her drink in and out of the fridge, she can't do much on her own. And while Baby Girl #3 is doing extremely well learning to read, she is still not able to read real books on her own. Which means that on rainy days like today she needs some major distractions since she can't play outside. Add to that the fact that the big girl's chores have fallen back on my shoulders, I was thinking that I wouldn't have much time to do anything around here.
But I forgot one huge factor. School for a Kindergartener takes MUCH less time than a 3rd grader and 5th grader. I'm talking an hour tops and we're done. Well, at least I'm done with my part. It might take her a little longer to get done with handwriting. But seriously, I had forgotten how quickly I can get done with just #3. It was a nice surprise today to be able to do 6 loads of laundry, an hour trip to Wal-Mart and everything else involved in the day after doing school this morning. So now I'm not worried about not having enough time for everything so much.
The one bad thing out of all of this? I'm not actually going to have much of a break from school. The girls will each have about 4 weeks off because of the trips to the grandparent's and the actual holidays. But since I'm going to be doing school with #3 until the 21st and then taking some math for the older ones to do while we're at my parent's, I'm not going to have many days that I don't have to worry about school at all. Oh well--hubby is going to make sure I have the day off for my birthday. Since this school year was thrown out of whack with the move I'm going to be thankful for the small things!
But I forgot one huge factor. School for a Kindergartener takes MUCH less time than a 3rd grader and 5th grader. I'm talking an hour tops and we're done. Well, at least I'm done with my part. It might take her a little longer to get done with handwriting. But seriously, I had forgotten how quickly I can get done with just #3. It was a nice surprise today to be able to do 6 loads of laundry, an hour trip to Wal-Mart and everything else involved in the day after doing school this morning. So now I'm not worried about not having enough time for everything so much.
The one bad thing out of all of this? I'm not actually going to have much of a break from school. The girls will each have about 4 weeks off because of the trips to the grandparent's and the actual holidays. But since I'm going to be doing school with #3 until the 21st and then taking some math for the older ones to do while we're at my parent's, I'm not going to have many days that I don't have to worry about school at all. Oh well--hubby is going to make sure I have the day off for my birthday. Since this school year was thrown out of whack with the move I'm going to be thankful for the small things!
Thursday, December 6, 2012
We might have gotten something right
The other day Hubby and I were talking on the phone to the younger girls. Then I hear the older two in the back of the car asking if they could talk to their sisters as well. This surprised me since just a few days before they were talking about how nice it was going to be to not have their sisters around. Listening to them on the phone I was happy to hear them be genuinely interested in what the little ones were doing and they engaged #4 in a real conversation.
I had a nice "ah ha" moment where I turned to Hubby and told him that this is what we had been working for ever since we had more than one child. That bond between siblings that is real and everlasting. Caring about each other and wanting to be a part of each others lives instead of viewing each other as annoyances to be shoved aside for other friends their own age. This is what we want for our children! It reminded me of a quote I saw recently that said, "Don't become so caught up in raising a good kid that you forget you already have one." It felt nice to believe that maybe, just maybe, Hubby and I were doing something right.
And then we got home and I saw that #1 and #2 hadn't done their chores for the day like they were told to before we left. Oh well, one battle at a time!
I had a nice "ah ha" moment where I turned to Hubby and told him that this is what we had been working for ever since we had more than one child. That bond between siblings that is real and everlasting. Caring about each other and wanting to be a part of each others lives instead of viewing each other as annoyances to be shoved aside for other friends their own age. This is what we want for our children! It reminded me of a quote I saw recently that said, "Don't become so caught up in raising a good kid that you forget you already have one." It felt nice to believe that maybe, just maybe, Hubby and I were doing something right.
And then we got home and I saw that #1 and #2 hadn't done their chores for the day like they were told to before we left. Oh well, one battle at a time!
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Feelings...
You know you're singing the song in your head too! I actually don't know that I know more than the first five words of that song! Nope, just thought about it and I don't know anymore words!
Yesterday Hubby and the older girls and I had a great day. We decorated the tree, did a little shopping, went to see a movie (Rise of the Guardians is awesome) and then had dinner together. I enjoyed all of it, but I felt a little weepy all day. The kind where I felt on the verge of tears almost constantly. We were going so much that I didn't really try to figure out why I felt that way until after the girls had gone to bed and I had a few minutes of quiet. And I realized that I was just missing my Grandma.
I don't know what set it off. Maybe the decorations I put up that used to be at her house? Maybe it was putting away her picture to put up other Christmas decorations. Or maybe I am just sad and it has to come out sometimes. I honestly don't know. I wish I did. I think I've mentioned before that this whole grief thing is new to me. I've found myself lately thinking a lot about Grandma's last days and the pain she was in. I have a hard time wrenching my mind off of that and remembering better times, when she was healthy. Is that normal? I don't know that either.
But it got me to thinking about all the people who have lost those who they are really close to. Parents, spouses, children. I can't imagine that pain. I loved my Grandma and considered myself close to her, but it wasn't the same as losing someone really close to me. I have already found myself wishing that it didn't hurt so bad. How does someone who loses a spouse or a child walk through that pain? How can they function in the normal day to day life?
If losing my Grandma teaches me nothing else, I hope that I am able to be more sensitive to those who have lost a loved one. To remember that while they may look ok on the outside, they are still grieving on the inside. To remember that the grief process lasts so much longer than most people realize, and to give that person the time and space they need to grieve. To remember to guard my tongue carefully lest something I say unthinkingly causes more pain. And to remember to show that person months and years down the road that I have not forgotten their loss. But most importantly of all, to pray for those who are grieving, as often as I think of them. That God would grant them a measure of peace as they wade through their new life without their loved one in it and that they would always remember how much He truly loves them.
I think Grandma would be glad that even in her passing, she is still teaching me how to be a better person.
Yesterday Hubby and the older girls and I had a great day. We decorated the tree, did a little shopping, went to see a movie (Rise of the Guardians is awesome) and then had dinner together. I enjoyed all of it, but I felt a little weepy all day. The kind where I felt on the verge of tears almost constantly. We were going so much that I didn't really try to figure out why I felt that way until after the girls had gone to bed and I had a few minutes of quiet. And I realized that I was just missing my Grandma.
I don't know what set it off. Maybe the decorations I put up that used to be at her house? Maybe it was putting away her picture to put up other Christmas decorations. Or maybe I am just sad and it has to come out sometimes. I honestly don't know. I wish I did. I think I've mentioned before that this whole grief thing is new to me. I've found myself lately thinking a lot about Grandma's last days and the pain she was in. I have a hard time wrenching my mind off of that and remembering better times, when she was healthy. Is that normal? I don't know that either.
But it got me to thinking about all the people who have lost those who they are really close to. Parents, spouses, children. I can't imagine that pain. I loved my Grandma and considered myself close to her, but it wasn't the same as losing someone really close to me. I have already found myself wishing that it didn't hurt so bad. How does someone who loses a spouse or a child walk through that pain? How can they function in the normal day to day life?
If losing my Grandma teaches me nothing else, I hope that I am able to be more sensitive to those who have lost a loved one. To remember that while they may look ok on the outside, they are still grieving on the inside. To remember that the grief process lasts so much longer than most people realize, and to give that person the time and space they need to grieve. To remember to guard my tongue carefully lest something I say unthinkingly causes more pain. And to remember to show that person months and years down the road that I have not forgotten their loss. But most importantly of all, to pray for those who are grieving, as often as I think of them. That God would grant them a measure of peace as they wade through their new life without their loved one in it and that they would always remember how much He truly loves them.
I think Grandma would be glad that even in her passing, she is still teaching me how to be a better person.
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