Weekly Wr--Oh, who cares?

I have hit a wall.  You know, the one where I question why I ever wanted to homeschool.  Where neither the girls nor I can seem to keep a good attitude for an entire day.  Where I have a hard time dragging myself out of bed in the morning because I know I have to start teaching as soon as I enter the living room. 

It happens every year.  And apparently it's a pretty common theme with homeschoolers.  The holidays are behind us, the weather isn't nice enough to play outside, and the end of the year isn't close enough to look forward to.  Although, when you think about it in those terms I wonder if teachers at public and private schools feel this way too. 

Whatever it is that causes it, I'm grumpy.  I'm not looking forward to school.  We get through every day by sheer force of will and someone ends up crying at least once a week.  It's bad enough that when I thought about writing about our school week I literally snarled my nose at myself. 

And then I remembered this post from the beginning of the year.  I re-read it.  And I sat and really thought about that memory.  And wonders of wonders, it worked.  Now, I'm not saying that I'm all happy and bubbly and wishing the week wasn't over, but I remember that beautiful moment, surrounded by my lovelies.  And I know deep down that this moment shall pass.  I'll climb over the stupid wall and get past it.  In fact, I had a nice visual.  Jesus at the top of the wall leaning down to give me a hands up.  Hubby right by my side cheering me on.  And the girls sitting on the sidelines, reading a book, every once in a while looking up to give a half-hearted cheer.  Because I may be encouraged, but positive thinking will only take you so far.

So to all the other homeschool Mamas out there who are having a hard time remembering why it's worth it, I feel your pain.  If you want to come over to my house we can sit on the couch with our arms crossed glaring at our beautiful children together.  And then we'll talk about why we chose to homeschool, and eventually we'll remember why we do it.  And it won't help the year move along any quicker, but maybe it'll help us get through each day a little easier!  And then, when we've survived until May, we'll have the most awesome end of school party that has ever happened! 

Sickness, a Birthday, and Insects

Baby Girl #2 turned 10 on Tuesday.  It wasn't the original plan, but she actually got to celebrate all week long.

On Tuesday Daddy made her some eggs for a quick breakfast and then I surprised the three oldest with a painting class.  It wasn't exactly what I thought it was going to be, but they all had a good time anyway. 

 The best part of course was getting to take the day off of school.  No school for anyone on birthdays around here!  Well, that was the best part for the rest of us.  The best part for #2 was a toss-up between getting to finally wear dangling earrings and getting to read Harry Potter.  Once they turn 10 is when those two things happen for our girls.  She's almost done with the first book and she hasn't worn anything but danglies since Tuesday!

And for her birthday dinner she chose CiCi's Pizza.  Ugh!  But we let them choose wherever they want to go (within reason) so CiCi's it was.  Complete with Mac and Cheese pizza.  One of my favorite pizza's there, actually!

On Thursday we went on a field trip to the Insecterium in New Orleans.  Our only time to actually go to NOLA since we've moved here.  Also the only time I've had to go through airport-like security to see a bunch of bugs.  But we got to see friends and eat some more chocolate covered bugs, so it was worth it. 

Of course crawfish are going to be on display!  Especially the blue ones!

Eating chocolate covered wax worms.  We're used to them now.

Can't forget these two!  Notice the one person not in the pictures eating a bug...

We thought he was going to be the only one to have one land on him

But #2 got lucky too

And since we were in New Orleans with friends we decided that we would take the girls down to a famous cafe to get some famous beignets.  First of all, we walked several blocks to get there.  We were in the downtown area and had already paid for parking for the day so we didn't want to try to move the vehicles and have to pay again.  Walking in crowds trying to keep track of 9 children was a little stressful for me.  But we made it in one piece.  We even got caught by a few street performers.  The girls enjoyed it even if I was slightly irritated having to put money in a terrible "magician's" hat.  But the beignets were really good and the time with friends was welcome.

Iced Cafe au Lait--it was humid!

Lovely magician--just lovely

After getting home I took #1 and #2 to get manicures.  This was one of the things #2 wanted for her birthday.  I was originally going to just take #2, but she asked if #1 could come too and since #1 has her own money to pay for it I agreed.  We had a good time.

Tonight #2 is actually going to get to open the rest of her gifts.  I failed to take in to account Valentine's Day and President's Day when I ordered her gifts so they didn't actually get here until yesterday.  Definitely another Mommy Fail to add to my list.  It won't be the last either!

And tomorrow she'll get her birthday breakfast, chocolate chip pancakes and turkey bacon.  So even though it didn't quite work out the way she wanted, I think it was still a pretty good week for her.

As far as school goes, we actually only did school work on Wednesday.  I woke up in the middle of the night Sunday night sick to my stomach and stayed that way for the rest of the day so school was cancelled.  Tuesday was off for the birthday, Thursday was the field trip, and Friday was co-op.  So we did part of school on Wednesday, and it wasn't really good for anyone.  I was still not feeling great so was cranky and short with the girls.  They couldn't seem to get in the school gear and kept messing around.  We didn't really get anything important covered.  And so we'll chalk this week up to "life experience" (because that sounds better than saying the week was wasted, although it really wasn't) and we'll move on. 

I'm looking forward to not having anywhere to go tomorrow.  I'll probably sleep as late as I can get away with.  And we'll be back on track for next week!

Keeping it Real and Paying it Forward

I was paid some nice compliments this last weekend about the girls and about my home.  They made me feel good.  Other people acknowledging the things that I have worked hard at let me think that maybe I'm actually doing something right.  But here's what I want everyone to know.  What you see on the outside is not real life.  For anyone! 

I have a friend who has more than double the number of children I do who takes food every Sunday night to share at their church.  She makes some really impressive dishes too. 

I have a sister-in-law who keeps her house up to my "company is coming" standard all the time.

There is a wonderful lady at church who remembers to send a card out for everyone's birthday.

My sister lost a lot of weight several years ago and has continued to keep it off since then. 

And I would love to say that I can look at these women and be happy for them that they are able to do these things.  But I sometimes struggle with the way that it makes me feel about my own limitations.

My friend who makes incredible food every week to share with her church family would never mess up on the venison pastries/pot pie/stew like I did this last week.

My sister-in-law would break out in hives if she saw the state of my kitchen right now. 

I didn't even bother to get my husband a valentine's day card, even after he surprised me with chocolates and a warm blanket.

I can't garner the will power I need to shed any weight.

The thing is, I know I'm not the only Mom who does that either.  We were talking with some friends of ours and discussing how social media has really done us a disservice by allowing people to hide behind this online persona.  The Mom who posts about how much she loves her kids but never says a word about bursting in to tears when they wrote on the furniture.  The wife who says how much she loves her husband but never admits that they are arguing more than they used to and she doesn't know why.  The person who posts amazing pictures from the awesome vacation they took but keeps quiet about the debt they've accrued. 

Now, I'm not saying that you should air your dirty laundry for everyone to see it either.  Online etiquette is a whole 'nother subject.  I just think that we should be more real with people.  Not be afraid to let others see the chinks in our armor. 

But how best to go about this without walking around talking about how your kids drive you crazy, or how the remodel set you back more than you expected, or that if your husband doesn't pluck that eyebrow that keeps sticking out that you're going to do it for him while he sleeps?

What if when another Mom compliments you on how well behaved your children are that you say, "Thanks!  It's a lot of hard work, so it's nice to hear that it's paying off."  Or when a Mom says she wishes her house looked as nice as yours that you say, "Trust me, this is not the lived in look we usually have."  What about every once in a while taking a picture of your living room that is filled with toys and books and miscellaneous crayons and posting it with #reallife. 

It's not about putting yourself down to make other people feel better.  We should never feel like we have to do that.  It's about giving small clues to let other people know that what they see on the surface is not the whole picture.  It's about letting other Moms know that you struggle with the same things they do.  It's about showing your behind-the-scenes and not just your highlight reel.

There is a flip side to this subject though.  What if we started handing out compliments like crazy?  Since we know that other Moms struggle with feeling inadequate or like they're screwing up their kids for life, what if we showered each other with encouraging words and compliments?  What if you went out of your way to tell a Mom that you're impressed with how well her children handle themselves when talking with an adult.  Or that you've noticed how much one of their children has a great sense of humor.  Or how amazing it is that they were able to come home after working and make a good looking meal for their family.  What if Moms who have older kids tell those with younger children that they are doing a good job, even though it doesn't feel like it. 

How would you feel if other people told you those kinds of things?  Is it possible that if you constantly had people telling you that you were doing a good job that you just might stop comparing yourself to others?  That instead you might be more confident in doing what you do best and being happy for everyone else who is doing their best too?  How many aspects of your life would it affect?   What if you could do that for someone else?  We could change the world, y'all! 

Weekly Wrap-up: The one where we start preschool and a co-op

I'm not a big believer in preschool for my girls.  I know some homeschoolers spend time and money on a preschool curriculum, but I've always felt like reading a book about the alphabet to my 4 year old was just as good as sitting at a table and working on flashcards with them.  And I still think that.  Except that now I have a lot less time to sit and read those alphabet books with my 3, almost 4 year old than I did with any of the other girls.  And to be perfectly honest, all the pretty educational books we got with #1 have either been so used that they got dumped or they are lost somewhere in the sea of books we own.  So I dug out a set of flashcards to start working with #4.  Note:  This has nothing to do with the fact that the girls' cousin who is 6 months younger than #4 can already write her name.  Because I'm a veteran Mom and I don't compare myself to other parents anymore!  Anyway, while looking online for some coloring pages for #4 I came across this website.  An all-in-one homeschool curriculum, starting with preschool.  A big fat kudos to this woman.  She has spent countless hours putting all this together and offers it for free to anyone who wants to use it.  So even though I still wouldn't spend money or much time on a preschool education for my almost 4 year old, I can sit and work through 5 minutes a day with her--especially since it is free.  #4 seems to be enjoying it.  So I've decided that now when people ask I'll tell them I'm teaching all 4 girls.  Maybe if I tell myself that often enough, when #4 actually starts kindergarten I'll be used to it and won't need to freak out!

We also had our first day of co-op today.  I've missed being a part of a co-op since we've been here.  I've missed being able to be around other Moms every week and for my girls to be able to be taught something that I wouldn't teach them at home.  We've still been doing 4 day weeks because Hubby has Fridays off so we don't do school on Fridays, but we haven't had anything specific to do on Fridays.  So when the opportunity arose to join this co-op we decided to take it.  #4 is young enough that she is still in the nursery, but the other three girls are in a choir, #1 is taking cooking and storytelling, #2 is taking science and drama, and #3 is taking cooking and a lego class.  They all had a blast today.  #4 still had trouble when I left her in the nursery, but she was fine after just a few minutes.  It's too early to tell if we'll stay with the co-op next year, especially since my plans for a homeschool choir are starting to fall in to place, but we will enjoy this semester while we are a part of it!

As far as the more mundane, regular school, I am still finishing about an hour earlier than I did last semester.  I attribute this to not doing language arts with #1 and not doing IEW with #2.  I like being done earlier with the older girls because that gives me a chance to take the time to listen to #3 read or read to her and to take time to teach #4 a little bit.  The oldest two are still working right up till lunch and #1 averages about 30 minutes after lunch, but as long as I'm done earlier what do I care when they get done?  I'm kidding!

And #3 started subtraction this week.  Or as she keeps calling it, division.  I love the way that Math-U-See has them solve for the unknown (x + 5 = 8) from the beginning of addition so that when it comes time to do subtraction they are so used to solving for the unknown that it isn't difficult for them to understand subtraction at all. 

#1 wanted to write her 3 paragraph paper by hand this week.  I told her she could as long as she understood that if she made any mistakes on her final draft that she would probably have to re-write the entire thing.  She only made 3 mistakes on the final draft, but since two of them were leaving words out completely she opted to type the paper again instead of writing it all out again.  Can't imagine why!  Which reminds me of a question I thought about this week.  When do kids start using pens in school?  I can't remember at all when I started using a pen for everything except math.  Homeschool problems, y'all!

So tonight we're going to bake a couple of pizzas and chill with a movie.  It has been a great week!

The Finale!

Our little object lesson is now complete--praise the Lord!  I'm super glad that my brother and his family came to see us anyway, but the fact that we "had" to cut out two more meals of PB&J makes them coming even better.  It was all Hubby and I could do at lunch yesterday to get the sandwich down!

So how did it go?  I think we got the point across very well.  As soon as lunch was cleaned up we called #1 in our room and talked to her about it.  We explained that the lesson wasn't so much for her as it was for her sisters and that even though she doesn't always remember to do her chores that we were very proud of how well she does with remembering.  And then we praised her for having a good attitude and that even though we could tell that she was irritated with us on Tuesday when we didn't eat until 8 that she was never rude or disrespectful.  We also told her that we proud of the way that she directs her sisters when she needs to and how she has started to gently remind them when they need to get things done as well.  She cried, but she started crying before we even said anything.  That is just how she is.  And that is why we talked to her separately!

After talking to her we sat down with all the girls in the living room and called our family meeting to order.  We asked how they felt when we didn't feed them until 8 on Tuesday.  #3 said she felt hungry.  That is the only emotion she could recall when thinking about that night.  After prompting #2 and telling her that she could be honest with us and we wouldn't get upset she told us that she felt like we weren't doing a good job as parents because we didn't feed them when they got hungry.  In my mind I was thinking, "Oh yeah!"  #1 also piped up and said she felt ignored.  

So then we asked how they felt eating PB&J for the last four meals.  #3 said she thought it was awesome.  Of course she did.  We could have gone another week without her thinking anything about it.  #2 said again that she didn't think we were doing a good job because we wouldn't go to the store to get food.

And then we brought the lesson home.  We talked about how because Mommy didn't do her job of fixing dinner and going grocery shopping that it affected the entire family.  We said that even though they don't think that loading or unloading the dishwasher makes a difference to the family, that it does.  When one person doesn't get their job done, it affects everyone.  We also explained that this lesson wasn't just about chores, that we were training them to be responsible adults.  That when they had a job or when they were running their own household that there wouldn't be anyone to remind them to get things done.  We also explained that we wanted them to be the type of people that others can rely on.  That when they say they will get something done that others know they can be relied upon to do what they said they would.  We got tears from #1 and #3, but #2 remained stoic.  Basically exactly the reactions we were expecting.

After we tore them down so to speak we built them back up.  We told them how impressed we were that there was not one word of complaint with any of the meals we had.  We also told them that even though we wanted to teach them this lesson that it didn't mean that we thought that they were bad kids.  We told them we were so happy with the young women they were developing in to and how thankful we were that they were our girls.  And we are!  Our children aren't perfect by any means, but they are really excellent kids. We also told them that we weren't going to talk about punishment if they didn't do their chores.  That we trusted them enough to know that because we had talked to them about how important getting their chores done was that they would do them now.  I'm hoping that expressing that trust makes them more willing to take responsibility for them. 

All in all, I think the lesson went really well.  I'm fairly certain that any time we mention peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the next year or so that they will remember this particular lesson.  As far as actually making a difference in whether they remember their chores or not--well, I'll update on that after a couple of weeks!