I was completely exhausted by the time we got to my aunt and uncle's house Friday night. Getting up at 4 am, not really sleeping at all for the 12 hours in the car, and a two hour time difference all started to add up. But once we got to the house I kind of forgot about being tired. I thought I was prepared for seeing everyone, but I wasn't. I started crying almost as soon as I walked in the door. The nice thing is that with the exception of one person, everyone there was family. And the extra person is like family. So there was no awkward moments or people being uncomfortable because they don't know what to say. We were all able to just hug and have that be enough.
I don't know how many people were at the house exactly. Well over 40. And it was loud. It always is with our family. And I wouldn't have it any other way. At one point I was sitting on the couch not currently talking to anyone and I just sat and listened to everyone and had to smile. That is what our family is all about. Even in the midst of sadness we can talk and laugh and enjoy each other. I thought about what Grandma would think if she saw us all together and I could see the smile that would have been on her face.
After a couple of hours some of the extended family left and the immediate family sat down and started talking about memories of Grandma. We of course talked about her baking cookies. We almost didn't even have to talk about it, we all had the same memories of Grandma baking her cookies and passing that knowledge down to us. We shared funny stories about her as a person and about memories the grandkids had. It was a nice time to sit around and share that with each other.
My Aunt D shared that one of the nights Grandma was in the hospital and was having a pretty rough time that Grandma prayed she wouldn't be a burden to the nursing staff and that she would be a light to everyone she came in contact with. That is how I hope I can be if I am every seriously ill. Grace, compassion and wanting to share Jesus in every situation.
I was sitting on the floor when we were done talking about the memories and my Mom was sitting across the room with Grandpa and I heard him telling Mom something. I couldn't make out everything he said but then Mom came over and sat on the floor with me and she told me that on two separate occasions the day before she passed away Grandma told her sister and Grandpa that she could hear the angels singing. Grandpa said that when they had finally made the decision to give her the pain medication Sunday night he went in to tell her good-night and she was still in a lot of pain but she put her hand on his arm and said, "I can hear the angels singing. They're so beautiful!" I had a hard time with that. I'm so glad she had that experience, but it still makes me sad to think about it. I honestly don't know why. Maybe some day I'll figure it out.
After that my cousin P wanted all the grandkids that were there to make some of Grandma's cookies together. We all put our hands in the bowl and mixed the ingredients and all shared in putting them on the cookie sheets. It was a time of laughter more than anything else. All of us had been taught by Grandma how to make the cookies and it was fun to reminiscence about those times. And to be perfectly honest, it was fun to stick our hands in cookie dough!
All in all it was just a good time with family. I was tired and pretty much sleep walking by the time we left around 10, but it was worth it.
One other thing I want to remember. My sister's boyfriend wrote a really nice post on FB that night after sharing those experiences with us. It basically said he was amazed at the love our family had for one another. It really made me stop and think. Its so easy when you know all the dirty laundry of your family to think that no one is quite as dysfunctional as your family. But in all reality, even though we have our issues, when it comes down to it, our family does have a great love for one another. And we are bound even tighter by the love of Christ. And I am extremely thankful for that!
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