Perspective

We've been having some problems with our Suburban lately.  Hubby has tried a couple of different tricks to try and fix it himself.  We thought we had it taken care of, but yesterday a light popped on again and we realized that we were going to have to take it in and have it repaired. 

Praise God we have the money to get it fixed!  The down side is that that leaves us with zero dollars in savings.  Which isn't all that different than it has been for the last several years.  Any time we finally are able to put money into savings something big comes up that we end up having to pay for.  We are thankful that we've been able to pay cash for so many things that have come up the last few years.  But we also struggle with the frustration of not having money put aside. 

But with the shooting today in Connecticut, everything seems to have come into sharper focus.  Today I have my two youngest with me safe and sound.  My 5 year old was not at a school today that had a mad man come in and kill innocent babies.  I know that my older two are also safe.  Hubby and I are healthy and our children are healthy. 

So what if we have to pay for the water pump to be fixed?  So what if we have to be careful with our finances because we have no savings?  I'm not sitting at home tonight, staring at presents that my child will never open.  I will not have to navigate the next hours and days and months and years with a void in my heart that my child once filled.  I do not have an adult family member who will be missing at the family dinner this year.  So tonight I praise God that my children and my spouse are safe and whole.  I pray for those who did lose their children and their loved ones.  I cry for the pain they must be feeling. 

But through it all, I feel an overwhelming thankfulness that even in times when we can't understand why something happens, we have the knowledge that one day God himself will wipe away our tears.